This is my newsletter #18: Rashmi Tyagi
My dear daring reader,
What a year, what a year we’ve all seen! Exhausting, unforgiving, unyielding, are the few words that come to mind followed closely by a trail of words like overwhelming, defeating and relentless. Humanity has been subjected to something so unanticipated and we’ve been collectively waiting to see this year end, somehow hoping that the coming one will resolve it all. It’s easy to say that this year has been dreadful with very few pockets of sunshine for almost everyone I know, some more than others. And yet, here you are, looking to find some way to unknot yourself. That’s why I call you daring.
I write to you from the bright and sun soaked valley of Dehradun, which also happens to be my precious little hometown. Winter has started gracing us with it’s obvious presence and I cannot complain. Who would, after spending the last 9 months (safely) quarantined in my apartment in Bangalore? As we near the last month of this gut wrenching year, I hope to write to you today of things that helped me stay afloat.
Change never comes easy but it’s always required. Wars that face us won’t win themselves, especially if the war makes you focus on yourself. One of the hardest things we’ve dealt with these past months has been our discomfort as people to just stay still with ourselves. Owing to social media, information during quarantine has continued to feel more amplified than ever. Since it’s not possible for me to have a conversation and not bring up a Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy reference, I just have to say - All of 2020, I felt as dazed and confused as Arthur Dent, whose house was on the verge of being bulldozed away to make room for a bypass while the earth was being bulldozed to destruction for the same reasons, and very soon Arthur’s very small problems didn’t matter anymore. Initially, I felt much like a lot of us did, pangs of utter isolation, anxiety about not meeting my people and paranoia about not fully understanding the pandemic. I did fall into a rhythm eventually, and found that going for long walks, showing up for yoga and cooking nurturing meals for myself actually grounded me. Work was a real savior for me, and I drew more than I have in all my years of claiming to be an illustrator. I started drawing still life drawings and portraits of pups and did month long pattern challenges. This year made me fall in love with my work and to be honest, with myself, because for once I had no distractions. What the quarantine gave me was unobstructed time, the greatest gift of them all, and suddenly my priorities were clear as a blue sky.
I relied heavily on hope when every single plan I had for this year twisted and turned into something unplanned for, not just because ‘hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies’ but also because I had little choice. I was forced to learn how to respond to changes that were WAY beyond my control in a way that is healthy for me and helps me see that I cannot depend on anything external to bring me joy. And learn I did, to change within myself and not beyond. And thus I stumbled on the most important lesson that I come to share here and we all could imbibe - Gratitude is the only appropriate response to life. In the midst of chaos more so. And that's why I’ve hung onto hope for good measure.
Below is a lists of my quarantine 2020 selfcare kit, indulge if you haven’t already -
Hear, Hear
It was Sufjan Stevens season through the year, just saying. I even learnt how to sloppishly play death with dignity on my ukulele.
A podcast I really enjoyed was Staying In With Emily and Kumail. It’s obvious how adorable they are together and the podcast was intellectually stimulating in the best of ways during quarantine. To top that, all profits of the podcast go to those affected by Coronavirus.
I am so happy Brene Brown launched Unlocking us this year, because I don’t know what I’d have done without her directing me through all the vulnerability I felt.
Watch, will you please?
Schitt’s Creek is one of the most fantastic shows ever made. I cannot stress enough on how fast this grew on me, and how much I love and respect this show. It’s downright hilarious and stresses on all the things we need to stress on - love, inclusivity and a sense of style when life is falling apart.
Handmaid’s Tale was a very important watch this year. I binge watched it for obvious reasons and my love and admiration for Margret Atwood grew because of how shockingly close her dystopian future felt to the reality we’re living.
Watched Klaus multiple times because it’s my favorite movie and gives me a lot of fuzzy hope .
Greta Gerwig’s Little women stole my heart last december and I don’t think I’m over it yet.
Some other stuff I loved watching are The Queen’s Gambit, Dave (Rohini’s excellent suggestion), Hamiliton the musical, Modern love and this underrated beauty of a movie called Where’d you go Bernadette? I spend a lot of time drawing with my favorite anime movies as well - Howl’s moving castle, Kiki’s Delivery Service and Spirited away. I also rewatched Gilmore Girls and several other shows that made me feel at home.
Stuff that moved oceans within me
Upstream by Mary Oliver and also all of her work. Seriously. I’ve been an avid Mary Oliver reader for all of my 20s and she along with Maya Angelou are cornerstones for me when things aren’t as comforting as I’d want them to be.
Daily dose of wisdom from one of my favorite designers Olivia Herrick
Rereading Julia Cameron’s The Artist's Way lit a fire within me all over again.
I read Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee before the Quarantine hit and OH, what an eyeopener.
Rebecca Solnit’s take on Hope in dark times, resisting the defeatism of easy despair, and what victory really means for movements of social change
Illustrated comics and profound wisdom of the astounding Yumi Sakugawa
A book that helped with my routine was Atomic Habits
I will conclude our little meet cute with these hopeful words by Albert Camus -
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”
Thanks for having me here! While you can, nurture your inner garden, grace yourself with love and prepare yourself for blooming in spring, for no matter how dreadful winter is, the spring always returns. It’s only a matter of time, and time, my darling reader, is always on our side :)
To see my work, follow me on Instagram and check out my website for more.
PS: A note of endless thanks for the very inspiring, and equally wonderful Rohini, who invited me to do this.
@thealiporepost #thisismynewsletter #findingmili